graham warren.com

classic sketch from french and saunders…i can’t do it…there’s no little dots!

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i’ve noticed that there are many so-called warnings on the backs of dvds and on movies posters these days. here are a few…but i’m sure there are many more. guess the films.

… scary scenes and mild language
… strong bloody violence and real sex
… sexual fetish theme
… mild peril
… moderate emotional intensity
… moderate and comic wrestiling violence
… moderate torture
… frequent jousting
… scenes of ecological disasters

i’ve received a letter from my solicitor enclosing the report from the independent orthopaedic consultant. actually makes for grim reading, bringing back a lot of memories about the injuries i sustained. can’t say much more than that yet, but there’s a chance that i may have to wait until the first anniversary of the accident before there’s a chance of some compensation, which is disappointing.

top spot must go to the metropolitan police’s prosecution of two tube workers who were wrongly accused of biting the heads off black jelly babies in a ‘racially intimidating manner’. apparently it took two and a half years and £250000 to prosecute the two and the jury only 58 minutes to realise that the charges were fantastically stupid.
second prize to the central scotland police for their brilliant but sadly aborted prosecution of a man ‘revving his car in a racist manner’. third prize to thames valley police for arresting a man who suggested that a police horse might be ‘gay’ thus – according to the boys in blue – causing offence and distress to ‘both the police officer and his horse’.
prizes will be presented next month when someone is out twoccing your car or stabbing your son.